In the beginning, it was very, very dark – inky black- everywhere. Then suddenly, light. My mum and I engulfed in that simple connection between two physically separated individuals emotionally connected on an oneiric level of light. In that light I feel safe. From darkness, from demons. Shadows became symbols and myths. In that consciousness I explored the eternal magic of storytelling, the links between dream, reality, illness, death, and the feeling of being immersed in a nightmares while awake – a Daymare.
Dying in your sleep is more common than you would think. People without any signs of heart trouble go to bed only to be found dead the next morning. Some might say that these people died peacefully in their sleep. Daymare is a photo essay exploring the fear it feels having Apnea, the story of a nightmare while awake. I see what my mum sees, hear what she hears, and fully grasp her fear. That mask, that noise that breaks the silent night, scares me. I decided, then, to document her fears. With my camera I analyse the dark side of her experience in a psychoanalytic way to release emotions and make the mystery visible.
To go back is the answer. Go back 10 years. Go back to the dark mirror of an innocent smile. Memories paused before the image of my youth. We are children and we play the game of learning about each other, again. This game is the prophecy of my work. I am learning to see the world through the fearful eyes of my mum. There is a lot to learn and I am grateful for her patience. It is a long journey from purity, through the loneliness, to the emptiness, and then to the very, very dark – inky black- beginning.